Help! I'm Battling An Alcohol Addiction

Thank you for your honesty on the questionnaire. I suppose it was partly because I was also an addict that I sensed that there was something bothering you and has been for some time. I have continued to pray for you faithfully and asked God if there was anything that I could do to help you, that He’d show me what. I didn’t know what was involved in your situation, but I knew that you were hurting and secretly wanted to reach out. Don’t be alarmed by that, though. I am concerned with people period, and I’ve been down a very dark road myself so I pick up on it in others before anyone else even notices. Also, I pray that God will help me help others, especially with teens in trouble—drugs, occult, family problems, emotional problems, etc.—so God sometimes shows me things about people too.

First off, let me start by saying that I really feel for you in what you are going through. I battled chronic drug addiction myself and know what a long, dark road that is. I reached a point where I was totally out of touch with reality, had no real friends, was paranoid, delusional, and hearing voices in my mind. I was by no stretch of anyone’s imagination a Christian, nor did I even so much as believe in God.

He had a plan for me, however, and He used the voices in my mind to bring me into a relationship with Him. Am I saying that listening to all the voices in my mind was necessarily a good thing? No. But I am saying that God spoke to me through this and I yielded my life to Him as a result. It was a slow process, and painful at times, but I pulled through without ever going to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting or anything else. Since that time I have been able to help people like yourself as they struggle with some awesome challenges.

So why am I sharing this with you? It is because I believe that God also has a plan for your life. I know that it can be really hard trying to follow God. Sometimes it seems like He’s not even there, but that is a lie. He loves you more than any person ever could. He knows that you are hurting inside, and He will give you the strength you need to press on if you just ask Him and believe that He will do what He says. He promises us that.

The Bible says that not even a sparrow falls to the ground but what our Heavenly Father notices, and how much more valuable are you than one of them? Much, much more! He might not deliver you like He did me. You and I are different people and God deals with everyone differently, but I can tell you for certain that He loves you beyond what you can imagine. When you hurt, He hurts. When you cry, He cries. He longs to gather you in His arms, but you have to surrender your all—everything—to Him. Don’t be afraid to. Don’t think that you are too bad, or that you are unlovable. Don’t think that you have to clean up all your problems. Just give Him everything—everything that hurts, everything that you are ashamed of, everything that you are—and He will fill you with a peace, joy, and love like none you’ve ever known.

Does that mean that God will instantly remove all your problems? No, but He will instantly remove all your guilt and the ugly stain that sin leaves. Then He will fill you with the peace and the strength that you need.

So what is this joy I speak about? It is not always a feeling of intense happiness, in fact often it is not. It is the knowledge that God loves you, is with you, and knows what you need and is in the process of giving it to you when you need it. Does that mean that when you walk down the street that the flowers will instantly spring into bloom on either side of you and that life will never again be rough? No. It means that no matter what happens, God will help you get through it and the sun will once again shine, thawing out your soul. You will still have bad days, but life will be a precious gift, and you find a will to live and a sense of anticipation for what tomorrow holds. I know that you’ve heard some of these things before, but I prayed that God would put on my mind and heart the words to say to you. Not what I thought that you should hear, but what He wanted to say to you through me. He loves you, Marian. Though you may not always feel like it—yes, He loves even you and more than you could know.

I am so glad that you answered my question! While you have not been in my class too often, I worry about all the teens. I have been in prayer for you since I saw you. I have wanted to be able to help you, but I didn’t want to interfere with your life. God really laid your life on my heart. He pointed you out and told me that you were hurting inside, and you know—that is why you drink alcohol, and why it has become a problem in your life. You’re not a bad person, you just want to rid your life of the pain.

By admitting that you have a problem you have already found that alcohol is a liar. It promises a release from pain, but it causes you to lose control (though while intoxicated you often feel more in control) and then makes you feel guilty later. This makes you hurt even more, not to mention some of the things that you might have said or done while intoxicated that leave you with a burning shame and fill you with remorse and grief.

What you really want is love. A release from the pain. Alcohol can’t do that. Alcohol is one of Satan’s lies. Only God can truly release you from the pain, thereby releasing you from your desire to drink. If you give God everything—the messed up life, the negative thoughts, the problems with relationships, the doubts, the worry, the bad things in your life, and if you truly give it to Him—then He will help you overcome your addiction and fill you with a love, joy and peace which is what you actually want. You must give Him what He asks for, though! If you don’t, He can’t help you. Not that He doesn’t want to—He can’t. He gave us all the gift of free will and He can’t lie. He is honor bound to keep His word, for He is a God of truth.

He knows what you need even more than you, in fact He understands you better than you understand yourself. He only wants what is best for you. He gave His very life in agony to save you from your sins—to save you from yourself, in other words. That includes helping you out of the tangled mess life can so often become. It is so hard to give Jesus everything, but if you ever want to get better and have the happiness you so desperately seek, you must. I can’t help you. I can’t save you. But I do know who can. His name is Jesus.

There are a number of programs and support groups available for a person struggling with an addiction. They can’t truly help you either. Not without first letting Christ have complete control of every dark room of your life—everything.

I had actually written you a note this morning after I read your answer, but God didn’t want me to tell you about treatment programs. He wanted me to tell you about Him, and His treatment program—the only one that will work every time. I felt so bad for you this morning. I wanted to speak with you and give you that note, but God stepped in my way. I prayed desperately that He would give me the words to say, and as I’ve been typing this for you He has filled me with peace. Everything is going to be okay. I am merely His servant writing these words to you, and I have prayed that the Holy Spirit would carry them straight to your needy heart.

Sister, won’t you surrender everything to Him today? Right now? It’s the only way. God and me, we’re rooting for you. May God bless you and keep you. Your honesty was golden and I’m glad that you know that you can trust me. If you have any questions or just need someone to talk to, now or in the future, you can always call. Please feel free to any time you need.

1 The recipient’s name has been changed out of respect for her delicate situation. I have only posted this letter on the web after careful thought and consideration nearly four years later, believing it would help other people, something that I am certain the person involved would truly desire. Unfortunately, she has since passed out of my life and I have not seen her again to secure her permission, though I am certain she would have granted it, particularly if she knew I had protected her identity. I can only pray that during the brief time our paths crossed that I was able to give her something of substance that impacted her life in a positive way. I do know that she broke down in tears when she read this letter; knowing someone genuinely cared about her went a long way, I think. Unfortunately, many people turned their backs on her, but I saw a person with a good heart and a tremendous amount of potential who had simply made some poor choices in her search for love and belonging. One quick look at my autobiography should convince even the most embittered skeptic that I have no business casting stones—at anyone. God’s forgiveness is as infinite as He is; His forgiveness is free and available to all who are truly penitent and my life stands as a living testament to that fact. If this letter has touched your life and you feel compelled to contact me, just e-mail me. I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can—no matter where you have been in your life or where you are at right now. It is enough that you desire to change where you are headed.

Help! I’m Battling An Alcohol Addiction