Further comments about Belief and Understanding.

I just reread my last post, which I had written earlier in the day, and I think I detect a subtle note of sarcasm and more than a tinge of phony self-deprecation in my contemplating the stars with my feet in the mud comment.
Ah ha! A perfect example of body-mind-heart disharmony resulting in self-deception and unjust criticism.
Trust me on this...I definitely "think" Christian Apologetics is useful and I have great respect for the scholarship and reasoning inherent in the process. I am not lying when I say this.
Does my "heart" concur? Hmmm...Well, I feel lovingly toward philosophers because I assume most of them are, in a sense, just trying to help out others and/or "make it through the night" like the rest of us.
But there is something wrong with the "feeling" aspect of my understanding. First of all, it's come up before in my correspondence with Eric. I'm obviously uncomfortable for some reason. Maybe I don't like Christian apologetics because I'm not good at it and it makes me feel inferior? Perhaps...but I don't think so. I don't slander mathematicians and I hate math. Perhaps it's because Christian Apologetics doesn't seem "real"? A bunch of philosophers debate about how many angels can dance on the head of a pin while babies are starving in Africa with flies in their eyes. No....philosophers aren't any more or less responsible than the rest of us in terms of a personal response to injustice.
No...it has something to do with me. Deep inside. My body...my instincts...temperament...conditioned reflexes...perceptions based on experience. That's body...right? or is it mind? I guess it's brain.
Whichever...The "feeling" part of me rebels against perceiving the world in terms of logical abstraction. Life is vital, alive, moving...it demands a constantly changing creative response. Rules don't work. Even the "Golden Rule" fails us at times. How can I "do unto others" when they may be entirely different from me?
I hope this response makes sense. I'm writing rather quickly, which is always risky, but, fortunately or unfortunately, the rest of my day is rather busy so I won't bore everyone with "Even more comments about belief and understanding."
One more thing...I absolutely understand why some monks take a vow of silence. So much easier! Words make life so much more difficult.

And,, BTW, the real irony is...I actually am really starting to enjoy Christian Apologetics.

So many layers...eh?

• Re(1): Further comments about Belief and Understanding. - By karen September 12, 2005 at 03:26:59 PM
  • Re(2): Further comments about Belief and Understanding. - By Sara September 12, 2005 at 05:22:30 PM
    • Re(3): Further comments about Belief and Understanding. - By karen September 13, 2005 at 03:45:33 AM
      • Re(4): Further comments about Belief and Understanding. - By Sara September 13, 2005 at 09:50:21 AM
      • Re(4): Further comments about Belief and Understanding. - By Sara September 13, 2005 at 09:05:16 AM
        • Re(5): Further comments about Belief and Understanding. - By karen September 13, 2005 at 12:21:58 PM
          • Re(6): Further comments about Belief and Understanding. - By Sara September 13, 2005 at 01:10:21 PM