Reply to last newsletter...

I understand your present anxiety...having been where you are now. You were very much in my thoughts after reading your newsletter before last. I wanted to give you words of encouragment and being in the middle of my own crisis of such I was at a loss for any words. After reading your last newsletter I decided to leave a response. I very rarely make it to Springfield these days but when I do I always manage to drive by SMS and think back to the many hours and years spent there. I also hope to recognize a brief glimpse of those that offered encouragment and advice when I found myself faced with literal life mountains to cross. You mentioned two people that I remember and think of often and have wondered if they remained on campus. I had Dr. Hoogestraat the first semester she taught classes at SMS. We spoke on occassion about the cultural differences of the Springfield area in contrast of other cities of the same or similar size and in particular in the regards to a campus lifestyle. She made me challenge myself and the literature much furthur outside of the classroom than in the classroom because of the differences in my way of thinking and reasoning than the young minds of those in the classroom. That was now what seems like many lifetimes away. That semester so many lifetimes away was also the semester that the SMS theater department was met with the controversy of the 'Normal Heart' play. I also had no idea the Dr. Martire was still teaching philosophy at SMS. I had him for probably what was at the time all the philosophy classes offered at SMS. That was the days back when all of the students that followed his classes in that particular room complained of the smell of coffee and cigarette smoke that lingered. That will date my time of studies because of course now there is no smoking and back then everyone was drinking coffee and smoking to stay awake because it could be done in all of the classrooms and everyone did. Since you are in the English Department I was wondering what ever became of Dr. Closser, who is a very big anti-smoking advocate due to cancer. He was my advisor who I of course never listened to. I knew him before, during, and after his battle with cancer. But I have gotten off the path inwhich I wanted to follow in this post. Anxiety will cause us to question ourselves to the point that we can cause physical reactions to it—I am a perfect example of the power anxiety has over the physical body and the damage it can cause. I have attended three colleges in my unfinished educational career. I have well over 300 hrs of education and was a senior for at least four years before life and all the pressure finally cracked me wide open and that isn't counting all the hours lost each time I transfered. I attended SMS first and then went to MU,then transfered back to SMS, then tried to finish up at SBU. I was a very nontraditional student at SBU and was met with nothing but fear and loathing by most of the professors there. I asked to many of the wrong questions I suppose. I was also a divorced single mother of two over the age of thirty and I was finally told by one of the deans in the education department that I was not welcome. I had no money and less time because I was the sole provider for the family and couldn't commute back to SMS and I would have lost more hours and it just wasn't worth it. I guess what I am getting at is this...do the research and go look at where you are thinking about transfering. I know all to well about finacial burden being disabled and on a fixed income. I have even been knowen to sit down and search the departments and if an address is given write to staff and ask about the courses and their take on the campus environment. I have made this much longer than I intended but you are in my thoughts and if I can help I am more than willing to offer the one thing I do have and that is the time to listen and if so be it argue it through. Please don't let the anxiety build I can't stress that enough.

• Re(1): Reply to last newsletter... - By Eric February 1, 2005 at 08:21:48 PM
  • Re(2): An Afterward on MSU - By Eric April 28, 2005 at 01:30:24 PM
  • Re(2): Reply to last newsletter... - By Anita February 3, 2005 at 11:21:44 PM
    • Re(3): Reply to last newsletter... - By karen February 5, 2005 at 06:05:30 AM
    • Re(3): Reply to last newsletter... - By Eric February 4, 2005 at 01:58:06 PM