Re (1): Encouragement

Thanks, Bill.

Yes, I think that the things I have been through as of late have worked for the good in many subtle ways that would be difficult to articulate but which will hopefully be reflected in the form of increasing maturity in future newsletters. Among the positive things that have come of these (ongoing) trials is a clarification of my beliefs and my values: a re-assessment of the things that are most important in life and a renewed confidence in the all-sufficiency of Christ. On a more immediate level of all things working together for the good, the following excerpts are from one of the e-mails I received in response to this latest issue (Going the Road Alone? The Church Universal):


Your prayers are very much appreciated, Bill, as are all the prayers that people offer up on behalf of myself and this ministry. I would specifically like to ask for continued prayer for my finances and that I might find a good graduate program to continue my education. My heart's desire has been more and more to find a good philosophy program (none is offered at the school I currently attend) and pursue not only my master's degree, but my doctorate as well (a near necessity for one who wishes to pursue a degree in philosophy). The aspect of finding a new and perhaps more prestigious institution seems a bit daunting to me; I've never been at these crossroads before and there is so much to consider. The market is fiercely competitive and often only the very top students make it; there are many other anxiety provoking factors as well, such as finding housing, employment, and in general becoming acclimated to a new environment. I don't particularly enjoy this cutthroat atmosphere; I much prefer cooperation to competition and the simple life to the marketing savvy that is praised, awarded, and all-but necessary in our consumer-driven society. However, my love of the simple life and the aspirations to which I aspire don't always seem so compatible, a point that has often brought me to my knees, both in prayer and morbid introspection: "Do I really want this? Is this really God's will for my life?" Of course, reading "realistic" scenarios of what to expect as a graduate student of philosophy doesn't exactly help matters: see A Realistic Perspective on Graduate Study, for example.

Be these things as they may, I really do feel both a desire to pursue my postgraduate education as well as a sense (sometimes not as strong or as clear as I might like) that God would have me continue with my studies. Of course, when the shoe is on the other foot and I'm the one seeking encouragement, I can relate to the many ways in which God could use my higher education. I do not wish to be in any way disparaging to many pastors, teachers, and Christian books on the market, but many of them simply do not reach into the corner of the world where I live; there is a need for the Christian intellectual. That is why I so greatly appreciate many of the intellectual giants of the faith because they speak to many of the issues that come up in the world in which I ever increasingly live. I didn't exactly choose this path per se: I have always had an inclination for the life of the mind, starting out as the child who asked an inordinate amount of questions about life and was curious about virtually everything. But there are also many pitfalls that arise on this path as well and the idealist in me rises up, nurses his self-pity, and longs for a life that is simple and free from all the many complications and cares my world increasingly spawns. The way I so often feel, particularly when I lose focus and become somewhat estranged from Christ, can well be summarized by the author of Ecclesiastes (1:13-18) when he writes:

I applied my heart to seek and to search out by wisdom concerning all that is done under the sky. It is a heavy burden that God has given to the sons of men to be afflicted with. I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and, behold, all is vanity and a chasing after wind. That which is crooked can't be made straight; and that which is lacking can't be counted. I said to myself, "Behold, I have obtained for myself great wisdom above all who were before me in Jerusalem. Yes, my heart has had great experience of wisdom and knowledge." I applied my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly. I perceived that this also was a chasing after wind. For in much wisdom is much grief; and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.

And yet for all of that, I can still say along with the author that "wisdom excelleth folly, as far as light excelleth darkness." What is more, I can say that there is indeed light to be found in wisdom and knowledge, particularly so when one keeps close to his heart and mind the One of whom Isaiah writes: "For He shall grow up before Him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: He hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see Him, there is no beauty that we should desire Him. He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from Him; He was despised, and we esteemed Him not. Surely He hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem Him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon Him; and with His stripes we are healed."

No, I may not have directly chosen my lot in life—my cross to bear—though I don't think I would exchange it with any other if e'er I could. What I can do, however, is find renewed strength to go on even when I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, for I know the Gentle Shepherd and I know that while He undoubtedly knew of love and laughter, He also knew of sorrow and was well acquainted with grief. It seems to me that one cannot live a full and complete life without a knowledge of both. If we consider the spoiled child for a moment, we can say that the child fails to appreciate what he has partly because he has known little deprivation in his life. By contrast, give the beggar girl a loaf of bread and see real tears of gratitude flow down her cheeks for she is still too young to have become hardened. It is good to be wise and to know from whence we've come, to see the darkness as well as the light. As the Sadhu writes: "In meditation, the true condition of the soul is exposed, and God can reveal our failings in order to heal and bless us" (Dhyanam • Contemplation).

Indeed, "It is better to go to the house of mourning, than to go to the house of feasting: for that is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to his heart. Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better. The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning; but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth. It is better to hear the rebuke of the wise, than for a man to hear the song of fools. For as the crackling of thorns under a pot, so is the laughter of the fool: this also is vanity." Or perhaps if we are to put it in more distinctly Christian terms (though no less Scriptural), we could say that part of "all things working together for the good of them that love the Lord" includes an honest appraisal of our spiritual condition. As is recounted of our Lord:

One of the Pharisees asked Him to eat with him, and He went into the Pharisee's house, and sat at table. And behold, a woman of the city, who was a sinner, when she learned that He was sitting at table in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster flask of ointment, and standing behind Him at His feet, weeping, she began to wet His feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head, and kissed His feet, and anointed them with the ointment. Now when the Pharisee who had invited Him saw it, he said to Himself, "If this man were a prophet, He would have known who and what sort of woman this is who is touching Him, for she is a sinner." And Jesus answering said to him, "Simon, I have something to say to you." And he answered, "What is it, Teacher?" "A certain creditor had two debtors; one owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they could not pay, he forgave them both. Now which of them will love him more?" Simon answered, "The one, I suppose, to whom he forgave more. And He said to him, "You have judged rightly." Then turning toward the woman He said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I entered your house, you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. Therefore, I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little."

It is by the light that the darkness is revealed for what it is. Darkness, however, reveals neither itself nor the light. If there be darkness, then, let it come out into the open where the light may reveal it for what it is.

God bless,
Eric

• Re(2): Encouragement - By karen January 22, 2005 at 06:53:01 AM