Re (5): living among the dead

Becky,

Thank you for your encouraging thoughts. You are of course right in noting that to the degree that my words make a positive difference on people it does accomplish as much as (and maybe even more than) a more obviously "hands-on" approach. It is also likely true that in person I am oblivious to the quiet influence I surely exert on those around me, because for whatever lack of testimony I offer with my lips, I conversely am a very conscientious and polite person. Often, of course, it is truly wise to refrain from speaking, but one must decide if it is because of wisdom or cowardice that his lips are sealed. And while there has been some definite improvement in this latter regard, all too often I echo Paul in 2 Corinthians 10:1: "I who am meek when face to face with you, but bold toward you when absent!" In his case, of course, he was speaking of disciplinary measures enacted upon fellow believers, an unpleasant task on all accounts.

I do believe in the majority of cases, less said says more, and where reason fails, quiet love prevails. I have long since had an uneasy relationship with the notion of evangelism as it stands in many evangelical circles and it seems like with each passing year of my Christian life, the less certainty I have on many "essential" doctrinal points. For that matter, much of my reticence is not entirely cowardice either, but a crisis of faith, a working out of the certainty of what I believe.

I don't know if you have ever reached a point in your life where you had to sit down and start from square one all over again, but that is where life often finds me, particularly at college where my beliefs are frequently questioned. In the end, my faith will be stronger for it, of course, but in the meantime it does have a tendency to take the wind out of my sails in all but the most fundamental aspects of Christianity. I may perhaps write this week on the topic of our daily bread, which a friend very helpfully pointed out consists largely of offering each conversation and interaction of the day up to God and trusting that within them—and not necessarily within doctrinal certainty—one will find his sustenance and purpose. I suppose that as much as anything, my bemoaning my lack of "hands-on" impact is as much a statement of loneliness as it is an admission of sometimes caring more than I ought what others will think of me. In any case, the factors are interrelated and clearly demonstrate how much we need love and acceptance from other people.

You know, I have been feeling tired and discouraged a lot lately. I recently ran a link report on the website to check my outgoing links and I noticed that I had a series of broken links from antithesis.com. When I browsed there to investigate, I was greeted by this notice:

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